Post date: Dec 21, 2011 4:58:29 PM
Kind of personal post:
Whenever I talk about my being resilient, to my close ones, they feel I am saying this just to cheer them up. But I think, I am actually !
Last two months - I have been in a totally different world... I feel like I never experienced anything like this before. Those who know me and see me daily felt the difference in my behavior and mood ! One of my friends told me yesterday – 'I can’t believe you are the same person as you were last week, lagta hai koi toofaan aakar chala gaya !' It was indeed... sometimes your state of mind is such that you can walk in -10 degrees without putting much winter cloths and you don’t feel the cold ! I dont understand how mind and body works in these situations (however, I got cold later on... still sneezing while typing this...).
In those few weeks I was ready to do anything... too energetic and filled with excitement... then became sad for sometime... my mood did swing like a sine curve.... and then I am amazed at myself, the way I came out and the way I am now. Its not that I am out of that mood game but... something... a moment of spark and I realized I was changed... I realized that I did what I can and then... why should I care now of what will happen !
I feel sometimes that I care less for many things than I should. But I think I never pullout from anything or I never give up... its just that I don't care afterwards. If things don‘t go my way... I still think there is a purpose behind why things are going the way they are... and maybe my thinking is too narrow to understand that for now.
Sometimes I hate being that resilient... yes, I do feel that even if I lose one or more of my body parts I will recover within few hours ! I don't know how bad that can be but I know that if my senses work in the way they do now. It will hardly take a day to recover.
Its not that I have not seen hardships in life... actually very few who really know me, know that its other way...
There are things which I am afraid to think but I know will happen one day... but If my thought process doesn't change... well... leave it ! ...because 'only time' can answer certain questions !